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Maybe Carl's Jr. and the Clippers are turning over a new leaf.
After years and years of failure and inexplicable decision-making, the Clips AND Carl's are finally showing signs of intelligent life. First, Carl's Owners apparently STOPPED supporting political candidates with ties to the Nazi Party and the KKK, and then started making tantalizing commercials featuring the likes of Paris Hilton-Leinart. Of course, that didn't help the food, which, just like that of Jack-in-the-Box, is still being made from ingredients that McDonald's turns down. However, who cares about the food when they present us with Kristen and the rest of the Clippers' Fan Patrol.
The Fan Patrol is sort of like UCLA's Cheer Squad that does the tumbling and pyramids, as opposed to the Dance Squad, which changes outfits and does the special musical dance routines. The Dance Squad is more like the Clipper Girls. Like the Clipper Girls, the Fan Patrol performs at all Clip home games, and also makes outside appearances.
Kristen might get to cross paths with Nicole, another former Bruin Cheerleader who is a new member of the Clipper Girls. If they converse, they can discuss the fact that THEY are the only good moves that the Clippers have made in years. It's not always the Clippers' fault, but perhaps GM Elgin Baylor is snakebit, because his brightest prospects tend to get injured too frequently. Hopefully, Kristen, or "Kris-10" if you like, and Nicole can enjoy an injury-free year, and find something to root for. That last part won't be easy, as they are used to rooting for a dominant team on the hardwood.
And speaking of... a dominant team, we have a little info about UCLA CHEERLEADERS that we're dying to share, but we're not really sure how much we're at liberty to divulge. Not only that, but we can't reveal HOW we came by this information. It might be first-hand, it might be second-hand, it might have come anecdotally from a third cousin twice-removed, or it might have even come from a private video. But what we can tell you, is that we absolutely GUARANTEE THE ACCURACY of the following report:
You know how good College Basketball and Football teams never "rebuild," they "reload?" Well, without violating any trust, let us just say that when you see THE NEW CROP OF UCLA CHEERLEADERS, you are going to be absolutely blown away.
Judging from this brief and unique sneak peek, we can now tell you what Heaven is going to look like. Ohmigod, ohmigod, ohmigod. You are going to be SO pleased.
The most amazing part of this, is that they were NOT prepared to be seen or judged, let alone REPORTED ABOUT, so there was NO make-up, or hairspray, or mousse, or anything. In fact, they had probably just finished a strenuous workout. And still... STUNNING.
And on this one little subject, we know from where we speak. As some of you know, we have a Studio backgroud, replete with countless actresses, BEFORE they hit the make-up trailer. So we can tell, that Bruin fans are about to impressed.
Do you old Bruins remember Heather Locklear? Heather is, in our opinion, an incredibly gorgeous Bruin, even without make-up, who actually used to model for the Bearwear Catalogue. Well, there is a new recruit that could be Heather's daughter. Our favorite color in the World is the color of the Bruins' home football jerseys, and we could swear that this girl's eyes we're that exact Deep shade of True Blue.
Now are you really wondering how the heck we could know this much? Oooh, how mysterious!
Anyway, there was a pair of new girls next to each other who were not only naturally beautiful, but they were also, well, what's the OPPOSITE of "ditzy?" If this were sc, there would have been blank stares, inattentiveness, and confusion. Instead, we saw intelligence, focus, and CLASS beyond normal college students.
Even from this brief glimpse, it was obvious that the Squad's Heart & Soul (& Director) really, REALLY knows what she's doing, especially when evaluating incoming applicants. Sometimes we worry when a female is selecting, that she might not have the same tastes as us. But based on the Girls' Brains, Class, and Sweetness, the Director is patterning the team in her own image, and luckily for the boys out there, that's a good thing when it comes to appearance too.
Sorry if this is too over-the-top complimentary, but we're in an especially good mood tonight, for some not-so-mysterious reason.
That good mood is DESPITE the fact that Reggie Miller might un-retire to play for the Celtics. The Celtics used to be like the Lakers' "trojans," so the thought of Bruin Reggie helping them, with that jerk Danny Ainge in charge, is really disconcerting. It would suck to see him tarnish his image, if he can't shoot with his same level of expertise.
Hopefully, Reggie will reconsider, and either stay at TNT as a Broadcaster, or come back to L.A. where he belongs, joining Jordan Farmar and Kobe on the Lakers.
Below are three photos that we REALLY HOPE are Kristen, with apologies if we're wrong. Below that, is a treat of a different kind. A loyal reader sent in a pic of his office, decorated BY HIS EMPLOYEES, for his Birthday, in UCLA paraphanalia. See what happens when you're a good boss? Your employees take care of you. Maybe he did the wise thing originally, by hiring Bruins exclusively, and this is one of the rewards.
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